Part 3 of 3 – Healing: Why Your Trauma Makes You Think You Don’t Have Trauma

Learning to See What You Weren’t Allowed to Feel

What Healing Isn’t: Let’s clear this up from the start, healing doesn’t mean “fixing” yourself. It doesn’t mean confronting your deepest wounds all at once. And it definitely doesn’t mean pretending you’re over something just because time has passed.

Healing is softer than that. Slower. Quieter. It’s often less about doing and more about allowing. Allowing yourself to feel. To rest. To set boundaries. To ask for help. To stop apologising for your needs.

It’s about noticing the parts of you that have been over-functioning for years, and letting them exhale.

This article is Part 3 of a 3-Part Series We’re unpacking a big, often invisible topic: how trauma hides in plain sight, and why so many of us don’t even realise we’ve been carrying it. Here’s what you can expect across the series: Part 1 – Awareness, Part 2 – Patterns, Part 3 – Healing. (you’re here) Each part stands on its own, so you can start anywhere, but together, they form a clearer picture. If something in this post hits home, there’s more ahead that might help you make sense of things in a way you never have before.

Why Your Trauma Makes You Think You Don’t Have Trauma: Part 3 of 3 – Healing

Recognising the Roots of Your Trauma

If your default setting is “I’m fine,” healing might start with questioning that. If your instinct is to avoid emotions, it might look like learning how to sit with them for just a little longer.

Healing begins the moment you realise that:

The way you’ve always done things isn’t the only way.
You’re allowed to be safe now, even if you never were before.
You don’t need a dramatic story to deserve support.

This isn’t about overhauling your life overnight. It’s about peeling back one layer at a time, gently, and with compassion.

Your Body Remembers, But It Can Also Relearn

Trauma lives in the body as much as the mind. That’s why healing isn’t just a mindset shift, it’s a full-body process.

You might notice it in:

A racing heart when nothing’s wrong.
The urge to shut down during conflict.
The tension you carry without realising.

These aren’t signs you’re weak. They’re signs your nervous system is still doing its job, to protect you. The good news? Your body can learn new signals. With time and safety, it can start to let go.

Practices that support this include:

Breathwork and grounding
Gentle movement (like yoga or walking)
Therapy that includes the body (like somatic or trauma-informed therapy)
Journaling not to solve, just to witness.

It’s about helping your body believe what your mind might already know: You’re not in danger anymore.

You Don’t Need to Do It Alone

Here’s the part most people skip: healing isn’t a solo mission.

Yes, you’re the one who does the inner work. But support, real, compassionate, consistent support, makes the process safer, faster and far less overwhelming.

Therapy isn’t about being “broken.” It’s about being human. It’s where you get to say the things you’ve never said out loud. Where you can be messy, unsure, numb or scared, and still be met with kindness.

At Talens Health, that’s what we offer. Online, affordable and human interactions with BACP registered counsellors. We meet you where you are, even if that’s at the very beginning.

Whether you’ve been carrying something quietly for years, or you’ve only just realised how heavy it is… you don’t have to carry it alone.

Start Where You Are

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need the perfect words. You just need a small opening, a little willingness to ask, “What if I didn’t have to keep living like this?”

That’s enough.

Healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were before the trauma. It means becoming who you were always meant to be, before the trauma taught you to hide.

And you, exactly as you are today, are worth that journey.