Starting a healthy lifestyle sounds easy in theory, right? You make a plan, stock up on veggies, and commit to morning jogs… but then, out of nowhere, the urge to reach for that extra slice of pizza or a handful of cookies hits, and you find yourself asking, "Why do I overeat?!". Why is it that, with the best intentions, the desire to indulge sneaks in? Here, we'll take a look at why this happens and explore a few strategies to help us stick to our goals. No guilt, no shame, just a bit of self-awareness and some helpful tips!
1. The Comfort Factor: Food as Emotional Support
Let’s face it: food is comforting. When we’re stressed, sad, or even celebrating, it’s natural to turn to food because it can feel like an old friend. This isn’t by accident; our brains actually release dopamine (aka the “feel-good” hormone) when we eat certain foods, especially those rich in sugars and fats. This release is the body’s way of rewarding us and, in a way, encourages us to repeat the behaviour. So, when emotions are running high, it’s no surprise that our bodies crave that comforting, pleasurable boost.
But why does this seem to happen more intensely when we’re trying to make healthy changes? Sometimes, when we restrict certain foods or begin a new regimen, the mind doubles down on its cravings as if we’re losing something valuable. It’s a bit like missing an old friend; even though you might not need them daily, the idea of missing out creates a sense of urgency to have them “one last time.” This craving cycle can be tough to break, especially if comfort eating has been a long-time habit.
Tips:
Non-Edible Comforts: Instead of reaching for food right away, try finding a “comfort buddy” that isn’t edible. A cosy blanket, a cup of herbal tea, a favourite book, or even a short 10-minute walk can offer a similar feeling of calm and comfort without the additional calories. Sometimes, just taking a few deep breaths or practising mindfulness can reduce the urge to snack.
Healthier Food-Based Alternatives: If you find that only something to nibble on will do, choose healthier options that still offer satisfaction. Dried fruit, a handful of nuts, or fresh fruit like berries, apples, or oranges can satisfy the need to snack without leading to a sugar crash later. These options contain fibre, which helps stabilise blood sugar levels and keeps you feeling fuller longer.
Moderation, Not Elimination: Completely cutting out certain comfort foods can backfire, making cravings even stronger. Instead, practice moderation by allowing yourself a small portion of your favourite comfort food when the craving hits. You could even mix a few indulgent items with healthier snacks (e.g., a few chocolate chips mixed with nuts) to make healthier habits feel more satisfying. This way, you’re building new habits rather than entirely breaking old ones.
2. The Reward System: Treats as Motivation Gone Awry
For many of us, food has long been associated with rewards. Think about it—celebrating a birthday? Cake! Finished a big project? Time for takeout! It’s easy to fall into the habit of using food to mark achievements or brighten a tough day. While this is natural and can be a positive experience, problems arise when we start to rely on food as our only source of reward.
This “treat culture” can sneak into our daily routines, even when we have good intentions. You might find yourself thinking, “I ate a salad for lunch, so I deserve this cupcake!” While it feels rewarding in the moment, it can lead to a cycle of using food to manage emotions or achievements, often derailing long-term goals. When food becomes our go-to motivation, it’s easy for indulgences to turn into habits that ultimately don’t serve our health goals.
Tips:
Swap for Non-Food Rewards: If your instinct is to celebrate with food, try switching to non-food rewards that you look forward to, like a relaxing bath, buying a new book, or a fun outing. These can provide a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment without the added temptation.
Choose Rewards Wisely: Be mindful of non-food alternatives, though, especially if they still bring up food associations. For example, if a “movie night” at home typically involves popcorn or other snacks, this reward might bring temptation right to your door. In that case, consider a different experience, like watching a favourite show or taking a break with a podcast instead, where food isn’t traditionally part of the routine.
Rethink Food as a Reward in Positive Ways: If food is something you love as a reward, keep it special. Plan a nice meal out once a month or treat yourself to a quality ingredient you don’t usually buy, like a fancy olive oil or a high-quality dark chocolate bar. This way, food rewards become more meaningful and less of a daily habit.
3. The “Willpower Depletion” Theory
We’ve all experienced it: after a long day of saying “no” to tempting treats and making healthy choices, suddenly our willpower just… gives up. And, when it does, it feels nearly impossible to avoid that snack we’ve been trying to resist. This is a well-documented phenomenon called “willpower depletion” or “ego depletion,” which suggests that willpower operates a bit like a muscle—it can get fatigued after overuse. The more we rely on it throughout the day, the weaker it becomes, making it harder to resist temptations later on.
Imagine your willpower as a battery. Every time you resist a craving or make a tough decision, that battery drains a little more. By the time the day’s winding down, if you’ve been relying on willpower alone, you might not have enough left to resist that late-night snack. This is why, when it comes to staying on track with healthy eating, sheer willpower alone often isn’t enough. Over-restriction can lead to a cycle of craving and overindulgence, rather than a balanced and sustainable lifestyle.
Tips:
Practice Moderation, Not Over-Restriction: Rather than setting strict limits, allow yourself small, manageable treats. If you’re craving chocolate, for instance, have a small piece and savour it. By building treats into your routine, you reduce the strain on your willpower “muscle” while still satisfying your cravings. This approach keeps you from feeling deprived and prevents the binge-restrict cycle.
Prioritise Your Day’s Biggest Challenges: Knowing that willpower diminishes over the day, tackle your most challenging healthy habits earlier. If you struggle with breakfast or lunch choices, plan ahead so you’re prepared and less reliant on willpower in moments when it’s at its weakest.
Create a Supportive Environment: Reduce reliance on willpower by limiting the temptations around you. For example, stock up on healthier options at home and keep snacks out of immediate reach. The less you’re exposed to tempting foods, the less willpower you need to resist.
Build in Time for Rest and Enjoyment: Depletion is often worsened by stress, lack of sleep, or not giving yourself time to recharge. Make time for things you enjoy, and rest whenever you can, both help recharge your mental “battery” so you’re better able to manage cravings and stay on track with your goals.
4. The Social Pressure Trap
Social events and gatherings can be some of the hardest situations to navigate when you’re trying to make healthier choices. These events often centre around food, and there’s usually an unspoken encouragement to indulge. When everyone’s ordering dessert, going back for seconds, or making comments like “just treat yourself,” it can feel difficult to say no without feeling like the odd one out. This pressure, while unintentional, can create feelings of guilt or awkwardness, making it challenging to stick to your goals.
Social pressure is especially tricky because it taps into our need for connection and acceptance. We want to feel part of the group, and food often feels like a big part of that experience. So, saying “no thanks” to that extra slice of cake or politely passing on the second round of drinks can sometimes feel isolating or even come across as overly restrictive to others. But with a bit of preparation and a confident mindset, you can navigate these situations without sacrificing your goals or feeling left out.
Tips:
Plan Ahead and Set Intentions: If you know you’re heading to a gathering, make a plan that allows you to enjoy the event while staying aligned with your health goals. You might choose to eat a balanced meal beforehand to curb excessive hunger or decide on a few indulgences that you feel good about. Having a plan takes the pressure off in the moment and keeps you grounded.
Be Comfortable with Your Choices: Practice a calm, confident approach to any food-related decisions you make. When you choose to decline something, it helps to be relaxed and sure of yourself. People are less likely to pressure you if you’re firm but friendly in your response (e.g., “No, thanks, I’m good!” or “I’m enjoying what I’ve had so far!”).
Enjoy the Experience Beyond Food: Shift your focus to the non-food aspects of the gathering, like engaging conversations, catching up with friends, or enjoying the atmosphere. This helps you create positive memories without needing to centre them around food, making it easier to maintain healthy choices without feeling deprived.
5. Practical Tips for Getting Back on Track
Slip-ups happen to everyone! It’s part of the process. Instead of focusing on perfection, it helps to have realistic strategies that can ease you back on track without adding stress or guilt. Here are a few ways to get grounded and refocus when you feel off course:
Set Small, Achievable Goals: When you’re getting back on track, aiming for small, specific goals can make all the difference. Instead of thinking “I’ll eat healthy all week,” start with something more manageable, like “I’ll add an extra serving of veggies to lunch each day.” Small steps build confidence and make progress feel achievable.
Focus on One Meal at a Time: It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by a slip-up, especially if it’s led to a day (or days) of off-track eating. Instead of waiting until next week or next month to start fresh, get back on track with your very next meal. Thinking one meal at a time reduces pressure and makes it easier to stay motivated.
Keep Healthier Options Within Reach: Life gets busy, and sometimes, our choices are all about convenience. Stocking up on easy, healthier options like yoghurt, nuts, fresh fruit, or pre-cut veggies can help you make satisfying choices without much thought. This way, when hunger hits, you’re less tempted to reach for something that might derail your goals.
Reframe Slip-Ups as Learning Moments: Instead of beating yourself up for a slip-up, use it as an opportunity to learn. Ask yourself what triggered it—was it stress, hunger, or just a busy day? Recognizing patterns can help you prepare better next time. Remember, progress isn’t about being perfect; it’s about building awareness and learning as you go.
Don’t Delay: Get Back on Track Right Away
One of the most common traps after a slip-up is the “I’ll start again on Monday” mindset. It’s easy to think, “Oh well, I’ve already had one treat, so the whole week’s a wash.” This can give you an unintentional “green light” to overindulge even more, turning a small slip-up into a weekend (or even a week) of excess. Unfortunately, this approach makes getting back on track harder and can even reinforce the habit of using overindulgence as a reward or response to slip-ups.
Instead, try shifting your focus to the present moment. No matter when a slip-up happens, commit to making your next meal or snack a balanced one. By doing this, you avoid the mental pressure of starting over from scratch and keep your momentum going. You might be surprised how much more manageable healthy habits feel when you don’t let one off day derail your entire week.
Tip: Remind yourself that healthy eating isn’t an “all or nothing” journey. Each choice is an opportunity to support your goals, no matter what happened earlier. Building resilience in the moment helps make healthy choices feel like a regular part of your life—not a cycle of restriction and reward.
Why Do I Overeat? Finding Balance and Embracing the Journey
Overeating now and then doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it’s simply part of being human. By recognising what drives your habits and practising a few coping strategies, you’ll gradually feel more in control and confident in your choices. Remember, everyone’s path looks a little different, so find what works for you and enjoy each small step forward.
If you’re looking for more support along the way, a professional counsellor can be an invaluable resource. Talens Health Support Services offers private, accessible online sessions with BACP-registered counsellors, providing compassionate and affordable guidance as you work toward your goals.
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